do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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