First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
