I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
