If i come over, it means nothing
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
