Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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