Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
A bitchslap is in order.
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