Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
