I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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