Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
