Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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