I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
