not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
