Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize