You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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