I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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