I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
