his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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