We're like a lot better than the average bears
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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