how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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