is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
