I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
organizing the empties. That sober.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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