Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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