so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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