I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am midnight drunk by noon
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
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The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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