There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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