i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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