i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
how does that bad decision feel?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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