Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
