Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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