One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Swine flu is the new snow day.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's just like the Real World with babies
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
As shirtless as possible
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
