Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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