Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I love you. Go after that dick
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
