what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
