Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
