? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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