yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
