yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
