I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
