i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
