Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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