can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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