I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
