I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
