if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
