So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Sober January is a disaster.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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