Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
