I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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