Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
