Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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