you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
