I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
