We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
