Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
