Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
