I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
