Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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