Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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