Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
