is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
