She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I AM VODKA MAN
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
