I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
