ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
