im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
