$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
