why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize