What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
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